Crazy Squirrelflight
by Gingerstar14
Summary: Squirrelflight is bored! She creates another version of jingle bells and drives the clan nuts! Then she goes nuts! Poor Ashfur, always getting stuck in her songs...and ThunderClan's earplugs are wearing out. Poor ThunderClan! !ANCIENT!
1. Jingle bells Ashfur smells

Crazy Squirrelflight's jingle bells version By Squirrelflight 

_Jingle bells, _

_Cloudtail smells, _

_Brambleclaw laid an egg _

_Ashfur thinks, that Firestar stinks _

_AND CROWFEATHER LOVES LEAFPOOL! _

Squirrelflight screamed. "Yea! I just made that up!"

Cloudtail hissed. "I do not smell! At least not bad…"

"Hey!" Brambleclaw hissed, "I'm your mate!"

"I don't stink!" Firestar growled.

"At least it doesn't say anything bad about me in it…" Ashfur sighed.

"Crowfeather doesn't…oh, yea." Leafpool mewed.

"You want one all about you, Ashfur? Well here it is!" Squirrelflight yowled:

_Jingle bells, _

_Ashfur smells, _

_Ashfur laid an egg. _

_Ashfur knows, that Ashfur stinks, _

_And Ashfur screams oy-vey!!!!!! _

There were yowls of protest coming from Ashfur.

"Ashfur, Ashfur, whatever is the matter?" Squirrelflight asked.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Hm..."

_Jingle bells _

_Brambleclaw smells, _

_Bramleclaw laid and egg. _

_Brambleclaw knows, that Bramleclaw stinks _

_and Brambleclaw screams OY-VEY! _

After twenty versions of that song, ThunderClan all bought earplugs.

**_Go easy on my first fic. I hope you like it. _**

**_Gingerstar14 _**


	2. BA BA WE ARE CATS!

Crazy Squirrelflight's Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba We Are Lambs version By Squirrelflight (by Squirrelflight) Did I mention it was by Squirrelflight? 

_BA BA BA, BA BA WE ARE CATS!!!! _

_BA BA BA, BA BA, WE ARE CATS!!! _

_YEA, WE ARE CAAAAAAAAAATS! _

_WE CATCH LITTLE FISHIES AND KITTYCATS ARE WE! _

_BA BA BA, BA BA, WE ARE CATS!!!_

Squirrelflight screamed. "Yea! I just made that up!"

"At least it's better than Jingle bells!" Cloudtail sighed.

"But more annoying." Ashfur hissed.

"That reminds me.." Squirrelflight yowled:

_Jingle bells, _

_Ashfur smells, _

_Ashfur laid an egg. _

_Ashfur knows, that Ashfur stinks, _

_And Ashfur screams oy-vey!!!!!! _

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Screamed Ashfur.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" Imitated Squirrelflight.

_BA BA BA, BA BA, ASHFUR'S A CAT! _

_BA BA BA, BA BA, ASHFUR'S A CAT! _

_YEA HE'S A CAAAAAAAAAAAAT! _

_AND, HE'S EATIN' LITTLE FISHIES!!! _

_'CAUSE HE'S A KITTYCAT!!! _

_BA BA BA, BA ASHFUR'S A CAT! _

ThunderClan all put their earplugs back in,because IT DROVE THEM FREAKIN' NUTS!!!

**_I need at least five reviews to do my next chappie. R&R! _**

**_Gingerstar14_**


	3. Row row row the boat

Crazy Squirrelflight's Row, row, row your boat version by Squirrelflight.

_Row, Row, Row your boat, _

_Gently down the stream, _

_Throw poor Ashfur off your boat _

_And listen to him scream. _

_Nine days later, _

_Floatin' down the Delaware, _

_Showin' off his underwear _

_He saw a sign said, _

_Beware of the polar bear, _

_But he wasn't aware. _

_Ten months later eaten by that polar bear _

_Doooown in the Delaware!! _

rang across the camp.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Every cat screamed.

"I just made it up! You like?" Squirrelflight asked.

"I don't have underwear!" Ashfur growled.

"Let's just say we would rather be killed than hear that." Cloudtail hissed.

Offended, Squirrelflight retorted, "Row row row your boat is sooo cool! You don't know what real coolness is, you old geezer!"

That was too much.

_ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT, _

_GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM! _

_THROW DUMD SQUIRRELFLIGHT OFF THE BOAT _

_AND LISTEN TO HER SCREAM! _

_NINE DAYS LATER, _

_FLOATIN' DOWN THE DELAWARE, _

_SHOWIN' OFF HER UNDERWEAR _

_SAW A SIGN, SAID _

_WATCH OUT FOR THE POLAR BEAR _

_BE SHE WAS NOT AWARE! _

_TEN MONTHS LATER, _

_EATEN BY THE POLAR BEAR, _

_DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN! IN THE DELAWARE!!!" _

Cloudtail screamed.

So, Squirrelflight was forced to scream it Cloudtail-style a hundred times.

And that meant ThunderClan had to –once again- put in their earplugs.


	4. Ba Ba Ashfur

Crazy Squirrelflight's Ba Ba Black sheep version by Squirrelflight

**_Gingerstar14: Since I got so many good reviews I decided to make one more chapter 2day. Poor Ashfur. _**

_Ba ba Ashfur, have you any fur? _

_No ma'am No ma'am _

_I had burrs. _

_So they had to clip my fur, _

_down to tiny stubs!! _

"I'm gonna die if I have to listen to more of that!!" groaned Dustpelt.

"All I can say is that's is not true." Ashfur growled.

"CRITICS!!" yowled Squirrelflight. She narrowed her eyes.

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey, join here beneath highledge for a clan meeting!" Firestar yowled. All the clan gathered under the highledge.

"Whataya want?" Spiderleg called.

"I'm here to file a complaint. Any cat who thinks Squirrelflight should stop singing, form a line in front of the highledge and one by one, tell why you think it should stop." Firestar commanded.

All the cats formed a line, except Squirrelflight.

Ashfur, who was the first in line, yowled: "It's the worst for me because it's about me!"

The rest of the clan yowled: "IT'S FREAKIN ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!"

Firestar nodded. "So it should stop. Squirrelflight, what do you have to say?"

"Yes I'll stop, but then I'll sing in a high squeaky voice!"

Firestar turned pale. "You may keep singing."

The whole clan groaned.

"Belive me, you'll thank me for it later." Firestar promised."But, to make it up to you, we can drive to Target to get new earplugs in my new strech limo!!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" The clan cheered. They piled into Firestar's green limo! Squirrelflight stayed behind to sing:

_Ba ba Ashfur, have you any fur? _

_No ma'am no ma'am _

_I had a burrs. _

_So they had to clip my fur, _

_down to tiny stubs! _

She sang it ninty-five times before the clan came back, because the lines were super-long in Target, and Firestar's limo ran out of gas and they had to call a tow-truck with Sandstorm's cell-phone.


	5. Ashfur had a big fat burr

Crazy Squirrelflight's Mary had a little lamb version by Squirrelflight.

_Ashfur had a big fat burr, _

_big fat burr, _

_big fat burr, _

_Ashfur had a big fat burr _

_so he had to clip his fur off! _

_Ashfur had to clip his fur, _

_clip his fur,_

_clip his fur, _

_Ashfur had to clip his fur, _

_and he wasn't happy about it! _

_Ashfur was very cold, _

_very cold, _

_very cold _

_Ashfur was very cold, _

_'cause he didn't have any fur!! _

"Stop it with the burr!" Ashfur moaned, stuffing his earplugs in his ear.

Suddenly!! Nothing! (okay I just had to do that)

"Hmm, I'm gonna do something real funny next time!" Squirrelflight exclaimed.

"Why am I stuck with it? I was kinda, almost your mate!" Ashfur asked.

"My dear, dear Ashfur. You must know that some cats are fun to tease!" Squirrelflight laughed.

"Firestar, got any ideas?" Squirrelfligtht asked.

"How about SHUT UP?" Cloudtail interrupted.

"CloudtailcloudtailcloudtailyourafreakinidiottothinkthatIwouldquit!!"Squirrelfligtht jammed her words togther so Cloudtail couldn''t hear.

"HUH?" Cloudtail asked.

"Cloudtail, there are things in life that some cats shouldn't hear." Squirrelflight mewed.

Squirrelflight sang her song again.

**_Sorry it was so short! I got an even funnier one for the next chapter. This will go on as long as I have ideas. R&R!_**


	6. Ring aroundy Ashfur

Crazy Squirrelflight's Ring around the rosie version by Squirrelflight

Squirrelflight's eyes were wide. "I have no ideas!!!!!!!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ashfur yowled.

Squirrelflight decided to go to the nursery for ideas, giving Ashfur a glare.

Sorreltail's kits were singing:

_Ring around the rosie, _

_a pocket full of posies, _

_Ashes, Ashes, _

_We all fall down! _

"That's it!" Squirrelflight yowled, startling the kits.

"What?" Cinderkit asked.

"This." Squirrelflight said proudly. She opened her mouth

_Ring aroundy Ashfur! _

_A pocket full a' burrs! _

_Ashfur, Ashfur, _

_He falls down!! _

"Cool." Cinderkit mewed.

"N-n-noooooooooooooooo!" Screamed Ashfur.

"No is right!" Cloudtail and Brambleclaw yowled together.

"So close, yet so far." Dustpelt moaned.

"Get your ear.." Rainwhisker was interrupted by a mournful yowl.

"I thought it was over!!!!!!!!" Sorreltail whimpered.

"I know she's my own sister but..." Leafpool trailed away.

"I"ll show you! I'll show you all!!!" Squirrelflight yowled.


	7. All the time in ThunderClan camp

Crazy Squirrelflight's All around the mulberry bush version by Squirrelflight.

_All the time in ThunderClan's camp, _

_Squirrelflight bothered Ashfur _

_Squirrelflight thought it all was cool, _

_but "AHHHHHHHH" screamed Ashfur. _

"At least no more burrs." Ashfur mewed.

"It's true this time too!" Squirrelflight yowled proudly.

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey, join here beneath Highledge for a clan meeting." Firestar called.

"I wonder what he wants now?" Brambleclaw meowed.

"I have noticed out earpugs have worn out again, and that Wal-mart's are longer-lasting! We will go to Wal-mart and buy new earpugs!"

"YAY!!" Birchpaw yowled.

Squirrelflight refused to be upset. She screamed:

_All the time in ThunderClan's camp, _

_Squirrelflight bothered Ashfur. _

_Squirrelflight thought it all was cool, _

_but "AHHHHHHHHH" screamed Ashfur!!! _

The clan quickly piled in Firestar's limo, which he had painted red-white-and-blue. They got new earplugs that worked better, so Squirrelflight just had to scream louder.


	8. Stupid Ashfur

Crazy Squirrelflight's Yankee Doodle version by Squirrelflight.

_Stupid Ashfur went to town, _

_ridin on a beaver! _

_Stuck a burr on his pelt _

_and called it cheese stomboli! _

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!" Screamed Ashfur.

"My throat is so dry!" Squirrelflight rasped.

"Go ask Firestar if he has any throat pills." Brambleclaw suggested.

Squirrelflight bounded over to Firestar. "Do you have any throat pills?"

"No. I can take you to Target to get some." Firestar replied. So they got in Firestar's limo, (which he had painted black with red flames and his name. is bright oraange) to go to Target.

When they got there, the place was crowded. They had a hard time reaching the counter to pay, once they had even gotten to get the pills. As soon as Firestar payed, Squirrelflight gulped down the bottle. "Better?" Firestar asked. As a reply, Squirrelflight tipped back her head and screamed:

_Stupid Ashfur went to town, _

_ridin' on a beaver! _

_Stuck a burr on his pelt, _

_and called it cheese stromboli! _

Then, any angry Firestar had to pay $1,000 to repair the broken windows.


	9. Old Dumb Ashfur

Crazy Squirrelflight's old McDonald version by Squirrelflight

**_Gingerstar14: I am running out of ideas! Anyone may help me to decide what song she will sing next!_**

_Old Dumb Ashfur had some burrs, _

_E-I-E-I-O! _

_With a big burr here and a little burr there, _

_here a burr, there a burr _

_everywhere a burr, burr! _

_Old Dumb Ashfur had some burrs, _

_E-I-E-I-O!!!! _

"Howdaya like it?" Squirrelflight asked.

"Not at all." Ashfur hissed.

"Yea!" Birchpaw groaned.

"Your so ungratfull of my talents!" Squirrelflight growled.

"Talent? It that's talent then I can fly." Cloudtail grunted.

"Really? Show me!" Squirrelflight meowed.

Cloudtail rolled his eyes.

"Old dumb Cloudtail." Squirrelflight said with a grin.

Cloudtail stuffed his earplugs in his ear.

_Old Dumb Cloudtail had a burr, _

_E-I-E-I-O! _

_With a big burr here and a little burr there, _

_here a burr, there a burr, _

_everywhere a burr, burr, _

_Old Dumb Cloudtail had a burr, _

_E-I-E-I-O! _

Squirrelflight laughed.


	10. Star spangled limo

Crazy ThunderClan's Star Spangled Banner version by ThunderClan

**Special thanks to Bluestar-Firestar-Bramblestar, who created this song. **

ThunderClan were sick of it. Sick of Squirrelflight's evil songs, of course. So they created this, a taste of her own medicine.

_Oh say, can you see _

_ by the dawn's early fight, _

_what so proudly we hailed at _

_Ashfur's gallently screaming _

_and Squirrelflight's loud blare _

_old earplugs thrown in the air, _

_gave proof that Firestar's money _

_had gone bare. _

_Oh say, can you see that _

_star-spangled limo, _

_for the land of the brave _

_and the home where song raged. _

**_But unluckily, Squirrelflight just joined in. _**

**_Sorry it was short, I thought it'd be funnier this way. _**

**_Gingerstar14_**


	11. Grand finale

Crazy Squirrelflight's Twinkle Twinkle little star version by Squirrelflight.

**_Gingerstar14: This is my last chapter, but don't panic! Watch out for the sequal, Ashfur's Revenge!!!!!!!!_**

_Twinkle, Twinkle, Ashfur, _

_Got a pelt, full of burrs _

_Brown and grizzly like a bear, _

_they plant themselvles in Ashfur's hair. _

_Twinkle, Twinkle Ashfur, _

_got a pelt, full of burrs!!!!!!!!!!!! _

Squirrelflight screamed.

"Was that the grand finale?" Bramblestar asked. (Firestar died of a heart attack in her last song)

"Yes." And with that, Squirrelflight lay down and slept.

Bramblestar ordered 144 pizzas and invited the other clans over to a party.

Thornclaw's new surround sound streo system was kickin' loud, and Blackstar brought his fave rock tunes.

They partied for a long time. When the party was over, Bramblestar made dens out of the pizza boxes.

Ashfur loudly announced, "I am going to plan my revenge."

****

**_Gingerstar14: I know this wasn't as funny, but Ashfur's revenge will make up for that!_**


End file.
